Check your view of God’s Love For You. I would love to hear your viewpoint. Please leave your comment below.
The Trickle-Down Theory of Conditional Love
Jesus Loves me, but…He Loves me conditionally.
Therefore: His love is based on my performance.
Therefore: I have to earn His love by pleasing Him.
Therefore: When I please Him, I feel loved. When I don’t please Him, I feel rejected.
Therefore: If God, Who is “all-loving,” does not always love, accept and value me, how can I expect to believe that I am valuable and lovable?
Therefore: I don’t believe that I am basically a lovable, valuable person.
Therefore, I am not able to trust other people who say they love. I suspect their motives or figure that they just don’t know the “real” me yet.
Therefore, I can’t accept love from other people. I deflect it. I try to prove that I am right — that I am NOT lovable, and that they will eventually reject me.
Therefore, they usually do.
Therefore, I use the world’s standards (money, status, clothes, sex, etc.) to prove to myself and others that I am VALUABLE. I need strokes and feed back from other people to prove to myself and to others that I am LOVABLE.
Therefore, I need a “fresh fix” of strokes every day just to get through the day feeling good about myself.
Therefore, I place impossible demands on people who love me. I frustrate them. I am never satisfied with what they are giving me. I don’t allow them to be honest with me or confront me. I’m focused on me, and I expect them to be focused on me, too.
Therefore, since I don’t love who I AM, I don’t expect that others will love me either. Why would anyone want something that has no real value?
Therefore, I try to earn their love by what I DO. I don’t give out of a desire to love, but to BE LOVED. Most of what I do is tied up in “self,” so the people I profess to love don’t really feel loved. They feel manipulated. I’m trying to avoid rejection rather than trying to build a loving relationship.
Therefore: I am not able to sustain a healthy, loving, lasting relationship.
Do you feel this way sometimes? Do think most Christians feel or act this way?
Please share your thoughts below.